An Open Letter to The Man Who Broke My Hea

This is a simple letter, one with carefully chosen words that will dramatically navigate you through the war zone that is currently my heart vs. my head. It has taken me a while to understand that you now may just be one of those readers, no longer a campion or really anyone I know. So much has changed for me, as I'm sure it has for you too. Likewise you no longer would know who I am either - outside of my physical appearance adjustments my spirit, heart and purpose are no longer working to please you, to build a future with you in it. This letter will make you think of someone, not my someone but someone who held the same power over you. Who kissed you with the same passion, who held your hand and stood beside you through some of the toughest choices in your life. Your someone, wiped tears from you cheeks and filled you heart with fire, he or she made you stare for what felt like hours at how incredibly perfect and breath taking they were and question how you came to this very moment. You and your someone identical my me and mine have the same heart or what is left of it anyways. We all cry out that they are no longer the same person and how dare they walk out of our hearts while leaving it a mess for us to clean up. 

Dear Man, Words are beautiful, as I sit here and rhythmically dance all over the keys to try and piece together words that effortless incapsulate my personal feelings but remain soft and elegant to allow many others to travel through this letter with me one word at a time and as each one is read an energy slowly builds within you that gives you strength and power to realize you are not alone in the battlefield of broken heart, unanswered questions and numb pain of "Why"...

Let me explain what it is like to be told you are perfect in every way and will always be taken care of. Let me covey the emotions that rip through a young womens heart like myself when she has been convinced that she is someones forever. Let me express the level of hope and and loyalty instilled in a girl who has spent her entire life building wall after wall to have them peacefully torn down by someone like yourself. I cannot and never will be able to formulate those emotions into words the same way I cannot express to anyone how it felt to have you rip that all to pieces. 

I want you to know I loved you. I loved you on the days you were pleasant and kind and on the days where you were unrecognizable to me. I loved you through the rapid changes in my life that I buckled down for just to experience them with you. I loved you painfully during the months where you decided you might not have loved me anymore and as I sit here tonight I can effortlessly type that there is still love for you in my heart. But I want you to know most is that I still love myself, and I know what love really is. 

The difference between you and I, is that my love is unwavering. It is a love that runs so deep inside my soul it gives restoration to my faith in other people. It is a love that I learned to cherish as a little girl. People in this world are going to hurt me. They have and they will again. They will love me and they will hate me. Sometimes they will do both, as you have decided to do. You have shattered my heart, but you have not shattered my love. Love is something that resides is all of us is is what keeps us going when there isn't any other reason to move forward. If chosen to be recognized love can be used as a tool to see our own beauty and potential when no one else is telling us. It is the fire that tells us to get the F up after everything else tells us to stay down. Love is not something that can ever be taken from me. 

There are no simple letters about heartbreaks, there are only simple concepts. That concept is that love, is the most powerful entity in the world. So tonight, I will allow a few tears to fall in your honour. I will most likely shed more on the days where I feel like all I've done is fail at my future of happiness, when I see something you would have loved or close my eyes and remember the smell of the summer breeze blowing into the window of our house on the first morning we spent together laying on a foam mattress topper with our lives packed in boxes scattered all around us as we were about to merge our two lives together. But I will be OK, I will be OK because I know the love inside me is strong and true. I will be OK because no matter how many people trample on my heart It is my ability to love that gets me back up when I feel as though I can't. Most importantly I will be OK, because no one not even you will ever be able to take the ability I have to love away from me. 

Lastly, I will be OK because through everything you and I went through I came out of it with a better understanding of who I am and for that I can't thank you enough.

​ - Ash

#Breakup #Relationships #Growth